Romantic Confusion
by DemonicGambit
Summary: This is what should have happened when Rogue kissed Bobby in X2, well it's what would've happened if I were in charge. Compete parody and joke, don't take it seriously people
1. The Kiss

Romantic Confusion  
  
Hello! I am the Almighty Demonic Angel! Bow Down, before me! [Blows up audience member to the right, who didn't bow down, then blows up audience  
member to the left, who also didn't bow down.] Bwahaha!  
  
Okay, okay. I really don't have the power to blow people up.yet. Anywho, This story is solely based on the love of Gambit and Rogue. Bobby BASHING!!  
He will pay! Hope you like it! : P  
  
"Here, these where my grandmother's." Bobby told Rogue as he handed her the elbow high gloves. She took them in her hands, careful not to touch him, "Th."  
  
Before she could finish her sentence Bobby kissed her. Rogue was still, somewhat in shock, but then she realized nothing happened. She let out a breath of relief, to her surprise, a small stream of cold air came out, and she smiled up at him. "Interesting."  
  
Bobby and Rogue kissed again, when all of a sudden Bobby cried out in pain. Something had exploded against his back. He turned to see another boy standing there, he wore a dark brown trench coat, that came down around the middle of his thighs. He had on a pair of pitch black sunglasses that didn't allow you to see his eyes. He looked a year older then Bobby, and wasn't happy at all.  
  
Yanking off his glasses he yelled at Bobby. "Get y' hands off mah girl!" With the glasses gone you could now see that his eyes were a dangerous looking, red-on-black. While Bobby stood in fear, out of nowhere the boy pulled out three playing cards, all glowing a crimson red.  
  
He threw them all at Bobby, hitting him squarely on the chest. The impact of the blow sent Bobby flying out the window. Both Rogue and the stranger heard Bobby's high-pitched girly scream, and finally the sickening thud came.  
  
Looking out the window, they saw Bobby's body tangle on the ground. The stranger turned to Rogue, still smiling at his accomplishment. But to his dismay, his beautiful Southern Belle, began morphing into a tall blue skinned lady with red hair.  
  
"Merde! You ain't Mon Chere!" He took a step away from the lady, known as Mystique, was now looking back out the window. "No, I'm not, I'm Mystique. And I was making out with Bobby, but no-o someone had to come in and blow him up!"  
  
The stranger rubbed his head in embarrassment, "Opps. Sorry.? Um, continue what y'all were doin' b'fore I came den." And with that he turned and left, in search of the real Rogue.  
  
A/N: Hello again! So what do you think? Oh, and for all you people who are wondering who it was that killed Bobby it was Gambit AKA Remy LeBeau. Geez, how slow are you? And okay you got me, since it was Bobby who hit the ground the thud wasn't that sickening, more like.happy! Hehehe. Yes, I know that Mystique should have been freeing Magneto at the time, but oh well. She was making out with Bobby! 


	2. The truth is revealed! sorta

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while :[ It's took me forever to get off my lazy butt and write the chapter in word so I could post it. Please review and tell me if you want more! Even if I only get one request I will try to write more, and I promise that I'll update sooner!!  
  
Rogue sat outside on the back porch admiring the view. Bobby's backyard went straight into the woods. she loved wildlife, it was a great way to escape her life, which is what she was precisely what she was trying to do at the moment. She had no idea on how she was going to tell bobby that she couldn't and really didn't want to be his girlfriend. The only reason she had agreed in the first place was 1) that she felt sorry for him, since the day she met him and 2) she thought at the time that her one true love was dead. Now she knew that wasn't true, thanks to a letter she received 2 days ago. {This is gonna be hard} She thought to herself. all of a sudden she heard a loud thud to her left. Running over to where she heard the thud, she found Bobby's corpse lying in front of her. Her first thoughts were {Oh mah Gawd! that's nasty! ....wait, tha' means now ah don't havta break up wit' 'em!} Just then Logan ran outside, "What tha hell was that?!" Rogue spun around, "Uh, Bobby jumped out 'is window...Ah think..." Lifting an eyebrow he looked at her, "Yer boyfriend jumped out his window...ya think?" Rogue raised a finger to him, "He ain't mah boyfriend."  
  
"Well yeah...he jumped out his window, darlin', sorta think 'im bein' dead an' all makes 'im an' ex.... Or somethin'. I ain't to sure." "Ugh! Ya know ah never said boyfriend, he did! did anybody not notice tha', or do they jus' not care?!" "I care, Cherie." Both Logan and Rogue turned around to come face to face with the person responsible for the death of Bobby. He stood completely at ease, leaning against the door frame. A smile the size of the 'Mississippi river' on plastered on his face.  
  
"Remy!!" She ran over and threw her arms around the Cajun smooth talker. "Oh Gawd, Ah can't believe its really you, sugah!"  
  
Remy wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he could. "qui, Mon Cherie, its Remy." Remy pulled back a slight to look Rogue in the eyes, "Chere, please, tell me that ya weren't really in love wit' dat condamnez fool?" Rogue laughed and her smile grew even bigger, if that was humanly possible. "No way sugah, ya tha only condemner fool for meh!" "Merci!" Just then they both heard a rather loud grunt behind them. Logan stood there with all of his claws unsheathed. "An jus' who would you be Bub?" Remy raised an eyebrow, "Da name's Gambit, Mon Ami." All Remy received in return was a deep growl. "Logan! stop tha' this instant!" Gambit smiled at him, "Qui Mon Ami, ya don't wanna make Mon Cherie angry, hein?"   
  
Rogue looked back into his eyes, "Remy, ah suggest tha' ya listen ta ya own advice..." He gave her the best puppy dog eyes he could muster. "How come ah can never stay mad at ya?" "We be made for each other, chere." He said winking, she smiled back at him. Then turned back around besides the slight protest she heard come out of him. She faced Logan, Remy's arms still around her waist. "Logan, ah would like ya ta meet mah real boyfriend. Remy LeBeau." Logan just stared at the two in shock, complete with his mouth hanging open. "How do ya do Mon Ami?" Finally after few moments Logan spoke. "But I thought drake..." "Gawd no! Tha' only reason we where evah ta'gether was cause ah felt sorry for 'em when he asked meh out. an' secondly 'cause ah thought Remy here was dead." She turned her head just enough so that she could glare at him. "Yeah, I'm really sorry 'bout dat chere, but it ain't like I sat down an' decided 'hey why don't I pretend dat I'm dead.' Yeah dat sounds like somethin' I would do." He said while rolling his eyes. "Yeah, so ya say, sugah." Logan watched as the two argued with each other, but at the same time were flirting. He was baffled by what he saw, he just stood there.  
  
A/N: So what do you guys think? Continue to write or destroy my computer for the terrible story I've created? 


	3. Author's Notes

A/N: Okay it is obivious that Bobby's body is annoying people, so we will have a vote. For we live in a democracy! Go America!! *Cheerleaders come out of a little clown car*  
  
Give me a U  
  
"U"  
  
Give me an S  
  
"S"  
  
Give me an, A  
  
"A"  
  
What's that spell!?!  
  
USA! Yay, go USA! Woo-hoo!  
  
*Cheerleaders run back inside little clown car, and drive off* Okay, back to the vote thing. Now whatever, way you want to get rid of Bobby's body, then just have it written down in a review.  
  
*In big booming voice* LET THE VOTING BEGIN! 


	4. Ya check it! Ya're gonna check it! Yer c...

Disclaimer: Panda Express celebrates 20 years of yummy.......what the Hell kind of fortune is THAT???????  
  
Sexy-Lexi-aka-Pepsi: Glad I wrote somethin' that ya like, I like it to...which I should considerin' I'm the writer...  
  
Rhane: Well I was gonna but it was jus' easier to throw him outta a window  
  
WildWolvie: Okay...... Ya know I heard somewhere that swingin' into walls ain't good for your health  
  
Friend of a Friend: Yay for Bobby-Bashing!!!!  
  
Pixie: Damn straight!  
  
Barbara Ruiz: Dn't worry I've thought of something to do wth the body, hope you like it!!  
  
A/N: HAHAHAHHHHAAAA *I just laughed insanely incase you didn't figure that out* Okay I've figured it, most people I have talked to want Bobby to melt or burn.... And I couldn't think of how to make this happen, but I figured it out and I think you'll be pleased. Or at least hope so.  
  
Gambit looked up from where he and Rogue stood. "Did ya'll jus' feel dat breeze dat came by?"  
  
"Yeah Ah felt it to, it felt almost like it was a wintah wind." Rogue said, Logan just shrugged at the two of them. He hadn't noticed anything. Rogue left the comfort of Remy's arms and walked over to the end of the porch, when she saw it. "OH Gawd! We fah'got 'bout it!" Remy ran over to the side of the woman he loves, "What we fo'get 'bout chere?" He placed a hand on her shoulder and looked over to the direction of her gaze. "Oh....dat...." Logan walked over to the two of them and looked down at the lawn. And his expression was one of disgust, confusion, and shock.  
  
Bobby's body laid on the ground, but unlike the first time Rogue had found it, it was now completely frozen. As if he was made of ice. Logan turned to Gambit and eyed him up and down. "What the hell did'ya do to the kid?" Gambit's head snapped so he was looking at Logan.  
  
"Wha? I din't do nothin'....well...in'a way. I mean all I did was throw 'im outta a window. I din't do dat ta' him!" Gambit shouted as he pointed to Bobby's frozen body. Rogue still stood there confused as to what had happened, "Is he frozen?" she asked getting Logan an' Remy's attention.  
  
Both men turned to her, neither one of them sure. "Well we should figure out if he is or if he ain't."  
  
"An' how 'xactly we gonna do dat, chere?"  
  
Logan turned to Gambit again, "Go take a look an' find out cajun." Gambit's face dropped, "Why Remy gotta do it?" Logan grunted at him, "'Cause yer the one who killed 'im, only right ya....check....the body."  
  
"But ya be da one wit' dose claws, ya can jus' give 'im a poke, no?" Logan raised an eyebrow at Gambit, and growled. Rogue sighed at the two and threw her hands up. "Will the two of ya quit tha'? Remy, sugah, go check the body. Now don't give me tha' look, ya are the one who killed 'em..." Gambit pouted like a little boy as he walked down the stairs over to Bobby's body.  
  
He picked up a stick that laid on the ground and poked the body. He half expected it to jump up like something out of a horror movie. He kneeled down next to the body and sighed, "It be frozen solid." He shouted so Rogue and Logan could hear him.  
  
Rogue walked over to Gambit, "Are ya sure, sugah?" He stood up and took a step back, frozen bodies made him uneasy. Not that he saw many, that's why they made him uneasy. 


	5. Good Bye Bobby

A/N: I'm sorry that it took me forever to get this chapter out. And I'm sorry, but I think it's worth it. Hope you like it!! Please forgive me???  
  
Anada- Why thank you :D Hope you enjoy this next chapter too! Anne LeBeau- I completely and utterly agree...as you probably guessed from my story Iseult of the Snows- Funny...that's what my friends and family say about me.... Rogue Mystique- Nickleback, kicks serious booty! Sexi-Lexi-aka-Pepsi - Sorry I sat here reading these reviews for quite a while... Star-of-Chaos- I know, this is what they get! Hehe 4Rogue- Hope this is enough Remy for you, until he shows up in the movie :D  
  
John walked into the kitchen and began to raid the fridge. "Tofu? Who the hell buys tofu??" John tossed the package of tofu over his back and into the garbage can. Which at the moment had huge flames that touched the ceiling coming out of it. "Hmph, take that you wanna-be meat substance." He scrunched his nose at the smell which is now throughout the entire kitchen. "Great now the kitchen smells like burnt tofu."  
  
He walked away, leaving the fridge open, and out into the backyard. He looked on the porch and saw everyone standing out on the lawn. "What's is everyone looking at?" He walked over next to Logan.  
  
Rogue just glanced over her shoulder at him. "Bobby's body is frozen and we can't figure ou' why."  
  
'He nodded and then thought about what she said for more then just a second. "Wait....his body is frozen?"  
  
Gambit shrugs, "Maybe he came down wit' a cold, hien?"  
  
"Remy tha' ain't funny." Rogue smacked him playfully on the arm.  
  
While John just stared at Remy, with a questioning look on his face. "Who are you?"  
  
"Gambit ta my enemies, but Remy LeBeau ta friends. Ya can go ahead an' forget dat first one."  
  
John just nodded at him, "Right... So, anyone want to explain to me why Bobby's body is laying on the ground dead...and...frozen."  
  
Logan scratched his head, in confusion, "Yeah I still ain't to clear on what's goin' on either."  
  
Gambit sighed, "It's like dis. I came 'ere lookin' fah Rogue, ta show 'er dat I ain't dead. An' I go upstairs 'cause I heard her voice an' when I get dere, I see dat foo' kissin' her, so I did exactly wha' any boyfriend would do....I attacked him... Well long story short, he goes flyin' out da window, and it turns out he wasn't kissin' mon chere, but some blue chick. So I come down stairs an' find mon amour out back. An' now we find dat da boy's body is frozen, fah reasons unknown."  
  
John and Logan stared, knowing what happened, but still in disbelief that it happened. Finally after a few moments Logan grunted, and walked away grumbling about needing a beer. John watched him go then turned back to face Rogue and Gambit, "So...you two are going out now?"  
  
"Dat's still, mon ami."  
  
"Well it would'a been 'still', but someone hadda go an' fake their death. Not ta mention scarin' tha hell outta meh."  
  
"I said I was sorry fah dat chere, not like I meant ta."  
  
John played with his lighter, "I'm still confused..."  
  
"I get da feelin' dat, dat's a constant state o' mind fah ya."  
  
"Huh?" John just looked at him, and Gambit had to stifle a laugh, until Rogue elbowed him in the stomach.  
  
"It's okay John, it's complex. Ah don't expect ya ta' get it." She sighed and looked back at Bobby's frozen body, "We still gotta figure out what ta' do wit' his body, ya' know."  
  
"I say dat we jus' leave it 'ere. Not like anyone will know we did it."  
  
Rogue turned to him, "'We'? Funny Ah don't remembah throwin' him outta window. An' we can't jus' leave him here, now there's a sight fah his parents ta come home ta."  
  
Gambit just smiled, "Aw com'on chere, I doubt dey'd evah see it. Wouldn't da body melt by den?" Just then John's head shot up, at Remy's words. Gambit looked at him, a little confused and wary. "What? It somethin' I say?"  
  
A malicious smile appeared on John's face, "I know what to do with the body." He started laughing in such a way that he made both Remy and Rogue nervous to just be near him. John opened up his lighter and a huge flame came from it, in the shape of a tiger. "I'll just melt it!!" He continued to laugh even louder at his idea. Rogue and Remy took a step back from the pyromaniac.  
  
"Yeah...ya do dat mon ami."  
  
"What? He can't do that!!"  
  
Gambit looked at her, "Why not chere? It'd take care o' da body, no?" Rogue thought about it for a second and she had to agree, but she still thought it was wrong.  
  
"No, Ah mean. Would ya want someone ta melt ya body Remy?"  
  
"I wouldn't care chere, I mean Remy would be dead, no? So see, don't think da guy's gonna mind much what we do wit' his body."  
  
She sighed, in defeat. Besides she knew there was no stopping John now, not when he had that look in his eyes. "Fine...melt his body..."John actually jumped for joy when she told him to go ahead. He made the tiger look like it roared and then John laughed as it pounced on Bobby. His tiger then took the form of people tap dancing on top of Bobby's spine. "I always wanted to do that to you! You over cautious ice-freak!! Hehe!"  
  
Moments later all that was left of Bobby was a small puddle in the grass. Pryo stood there watching the last of the flames dying out, then he turned to Gambit and Rogue who had been standing there watching him the whole time in shock. "Can I do it again?" He asked with too much of a happy tone in his voice.  
  
Gambit looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Don't think ya can mon ami, ya sorta melted da only frozen body 'ere."  
  
Just the Logan walked outside carrying his beer in hand, when he saw that Bobby's body was gone he looked at them in question. "Al'ight...what'd you do with it?"  
  
John smiled at Logan, with pride beaming off of him. "I melted him!!"  
  
Logan stared wide-eyed at him, "Ya what!?" John pointed to the puddle in the grass, his smile never leaving his face. Logan looked at the puddle as he finished off the last of his beer. "I don't believe it." He scratched his head, "Well...least the cajun seems better then him..."  
  
"Seems? I resent dat! Remy be way better den him!"  
  
"Hey have any of y'all thought 'bout what we're gonna tell people when they ask what happened ta' Bobby?"  
  
They all stood there thinking, when Gambit spoke up. "Howzabout we jus' say dat he decided ta take a vacation?"  
  
"Yeah! To Antarctica!" They stared at John in confusion, "What? Well isn't he all immune to the cold? I just figured he would go there...STOP STARING AT ME!!!" He held his lighter close and then started cuddling with it.  
  
A/N: Okay I think that's going to be the end of it, because I can't think of where to go from there. But if you guys have any ideas just give them to me, and I'll see if I'll continue. Hope you enjoyed!! 


End file.
